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CORPSES: The Review

by: midas

This weekend, we went to go see BODIES: The Exhibition. It was creepy and interesting. But mostly, it was creepy.

Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s the one where they take actual dead humans, apply a mysterious technique called “polymer preservation” (which, from what I can tell and imagine, is something like pumping the corpse full of plastic resin, resulting in something like petrified wood - only considerably more morbid), and then posing them like Ken dolls. I say “Ken dolls” because they are pretty much all dudes (you can tell from all the penises).

The exhibit is billed as an educational service, teaching the public about the magical world underneath their skin, and it comes complete with people dressed up like doctors (the iconic white lab coat) who explain things and answer questions. These people are not, however actual doctors, or med students. The one working while we were there was a photographer and a rapper. He was super nice and said that the exhibit provided inspiration for his music (for reference, this was in the circulatory system section).

The show is pretty much what you might expect; you progress through several rooms, each focused on some bodily system, from the skeletal to the reproductive. All of the body parts are from real actual people, and as we moved through, I became more and more disturbed by the whole production. I understand that these people donated their bodies (more on this later) to science or whatever, but despite the educational framing, it felt more like spectacle than anything else. People making jokes, chewing gum, and pointing, made me rather uncomfortable, and I felt under-dressed, like I should be wearing a suit or something. I mean these were real people, who lived lives. Now they are entertainment? Do their families get a cut of the ticket price? Did this guy even play basketball?

I don’t know if that is prudish of me or not. What knocked me over the edge was the leathered, flayed skin of one of the humans, laid out and tanned in a glass case. From this, we were meant to learn about the skin. It’s the largest organ in the body, don’t you know. The eyes, nose and mouth had been cut out, leaving empty holes, like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The tip of his penis had been cut off as well; I’m not sure why. Someone bumped the case, and the skin slowly rocked back and forth, empty.

All the dead people appear to be Chinese. This is kind of weird, since you might expect that the distribution of people who want to donate their bodies might cut across racial boundaries. At least, it wouldn’t be 100% Chinese, 0% everyone else. This made me wonder if the bodies had really been donated, or if they had been sold or something, by the poor family of some Mainland Chinese peasant or something. I dunno.

Anyways, according to Wikipedia, it’s a little more sketchy than that. The bodies were apparently donated by the Chinese government, the government having been unable to find any next of kin (!!!). That’s right, no informed consent, just, “hey, we found some dead bodies, you want some?”.

Wild speculation is that the former owners of the bodies might have been political prisoners who had been executed and “dissapeared,” apparently to museums across the country. Sweet.

I guess the question for me is: was there anything so compelling or educational about the corpses that couldn’t have been done with a bunch of _fake_ brains, lungs, and skeletons? I don’t know, I kind of feel like most people wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. I think the biggest difference would be that the show wouldn’t sell as well. And that’s kind of a troubling reason for me.

The exhibit is showing up in Rosslyn right on the other side of the river from DC, by the Iwo Jima Memorial. Tickets were 26$ a pop. My recommendation: skip it.

Mandatory Wikipedia link:
Here.

At least it’s not as sketchy as this one:
Banned in Germany!

Oscar Pick’em: A cupcake extravaganza

by: Ross

I’ve decided to enter an Oscar pool with three fellow bloggers (whom I actually know IRL): Justin, Susan, and Wife (whom I really know in IRL, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). Other than watching a butt-ton of movies I am pretty dull about them. I wouldn’t say I have a dearth of movie related knowledge, but I wouldn’t say the pink triangle is my bailiwick either.

Oh PS. Winner of the pool gets to pick a movie we all must watch together while the losers must make delicious sundries including: cupcakes, pigs-in-a-blanket, and smoothies. What follows is a semi-annotated list of who I think will — and possibly should &mdashl win the 79th Academy Awards.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

Queen

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Peter O’Toole

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Helen Mirren

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Eddie Murphy — DARKNESS!!!

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Rinko Kikuchi — Really I wanted to pick that cute girl from Little Miss Sunshine, but I didn’t.

Best Achievement in Directing

Martin Scorsese

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen

Little Miss Sunshine

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published

Notes on a Scandal

Best Achievement in Cinematography

Children of Men — Seriously, a twenty minute battle scene with no cuts. Amazing.

Best Achievement in Editing

The Departed

Best Achievement in Art Direction

El Laberinto del Fauno

Costume Design

Dream Girls

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score

Notes on a Scandal

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song

Dream Girls “Listen” — I’m pretty sure a song from Dream Girls will win, but I don’t really know which one.

Best Achievement in Makeup

Apocalypto

Best Achievement in Sound

Flags of Our Fathers

Best Achievement in Sound Editing

Flags of Our Fathers

Best Achievement in Visual Effects

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year

Happy Feet

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year

El Laberinto del Fauno

Best Documentary, Feature

An Inconvenient Truth — I wish Al Gore could add “Academy Award Winner” to his resume. That would be so badass.

Best Documentary, Short Subjects

Recycled Life — Let’s just assume this movie is about recycling. Because, LBH, 2k7 is all about the Planet Earth

Best Short Film, Animated

The Little Matchgirl

Best Short Film, Live Action

The Saviour — Because I thought it was obvious.

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Pan’s Labyrinth: there are easier ways to become a communist

by: Ross

RMSzero and I ventured out of the (relative) safety of the city limits to catch a flick at the Short Pump Move Complex. Aside: Isn’t it odd that when you live inside the city limits you feel more comfortable among bums and transvestitutes than rent-a-cops and soccer mom’s that insist on driving while chatting it up with their bestest girlfriend about neighbor Dave and how Kimberly saw him eating dinner at the clubhouse with Ashley the sixteen year old babysiter?

Anywhoo, don’t worry about us. We went, we saw, and we got the hell out of their alive — barely. The movie on the menu was Pan’s Labyrinth or El Laberinto del Fauno, directed by Guillermo Del Toro. Del Toro is a mexican director “famous” for directing Hellboy and Blade II.

His dad was also kidnapped in 1988, wtf?

Pan’s Labyrinth is an interesting amalgamation of fantasy, horror, and war story. Basically what we have here is a fairy tale set during the Spanish Civil War with an appropriate amount of gristle. I’ll will admit, however, I had to squint at the screen during a scene that involved the SEWING OF HUMAN FLESH. I mean, some shit I just can’t handle.

I thought the visuals were awesome, specifically the creature design. I would have been happy, no happier, if we could just drop the whole Spanish Civil War thing and do more of the running away from creepy well designed monsters thing. But hey there was, as RMSzero said, “lots of plot.” YMMV.

The most interesting thing about Pan, other than the preview of 300 before the movie started, was the melding of horror and fairy tale. This isn’t a new idea, but one that we’ve forgotten about apparently. You might even say that this was how fairy tales started out before those bastards at Disney got ahold of them. Something about a horror flick starring an innocent little kid makes it EVEN MORE HORRORFUL.

I’d say, three point five stars baby — more for the visuals and the genre blending than anything else.


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13 movie reviews in under 2,600 characters

by: Ross

Casablanca

I loved this movie. I never realized how many famous lines came out of this film.

*****

A Streetcar Named Desire

Why aren’t movies magical anymore?

*****

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

You had me at hello RDJr.

****

Hotel Rwanda

How did I miss this guy speaking at Chop Suey last year!?

****

Fullmetal Alchemist: The Movie: Conqueror of Shamballa

You know, one of those alternate universes where Nazi’s are on the verge of a victory through the occult. They should just make more seasons and less movies.

****

The Usual Suspects

Before this movie Kevin Spacey was in “The Ref” — the best Christmas movie ever. Now Kevin Spacey is Mr. Legitimate Actor. Lesson: costar in a movie with Dennis Leary.

****

Happy Endings

I’ll admit, a rating of four stars is a bit high for this movie. But LBH. I am a sucker for a Gyllenhaal. Also Lisa Kudrow is strangely attractive to me, like, in a hot mom sort of way.

****

The Virgin Suicides

1) James Woods looks exactly like my grandfather in this movie. 2) Kirsten Dunst is hot even though she is supposed to be 14. 3) One of the suiciders was definitely not a virgin at time of suicide.

***

Brick

INTRIGUING! That guy from “10 Things I Hate About You” plays some serious Sam Spade action. I’m not sure why everyone talked like they were in a 50’s detective movie though?

***

Poltergeist

Craig T. “Coach” Nelson stars in this film which is the “The ‘burbs” of the genre. A Steven Spielberg production — you’d probably be better of just watch Jaws..

***

V for Vendetta

NOTICE TO LADIES: shave your heads it is incredibly hott.

***

The Tete and the Moon

Tits and farts. And I do mean lots of tits. Some of this movie is clevery, most of this movie is awkward.

**

The 40 Year Old Virgin

How is this movie two hours and thirteen minutes long?

**


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Wii: Internet Channel (trial version) impressions.

by: Ross

WTF AWESOME!?

This morning I was, again, greeted by the cool pulsating glow of my best friend in the world Wii. “Oh shit!” I said, remembering that the Opera-made web browser was supposed to drop today. I’m not sure why I switched into a narrative right there, weird.

Anyway as is custom with downloading crap from the Wii Store I went through the following process:

  • Step 1: try to connect to the Wii Store and fail.
  • Step 2: reconnect to the Wii Store and succeed (after five minutes of waiting).
  • Step 3: spend thirty minutes downloading whatever you need to download.

But huzzah of huzzahs I have the web browser and it might be … super awesome?

It seems to render things pretty fast, and since it uses the Opera engine it renders things as well as you could ask. Javascript seems to work well too: the slidy effect that happens when you click “touch” on Haduken (circa. 2006) worked great. I was able to log into gmail, myspace, and the admin panel for Haduken without issue. I did get an error of “unsupported protocol” while on myspace, but honestly that could be a zillion things. That place is a trash hole.

Television screens are pretty lowres and crappy for displaying awesome things like websites and facebook profiles, but Opera gives us two great tools to overcome this. First you get a cool zoom function. Point the Wiimote somewhere on the screen and hit the “+” button and BAM ZOOM. Most text, on my screen (30″ Sony CRT), is nearly legible. Zoomed in every thing reads like a piece of cake.

The second tool you get is “single column mode” which is activated by pressing “1.” Opera has had this in their browser for a while now and it is a neat feature. Basically it shrinks everything down into one column based on “source order.” For sites who have thought about how important source order can be for non-standard browsers, sites like Haduken.com, things look great and easy to read. Other sites may look like crap. YMMV.

My only two complaints thus far are a lack of tabs and the keyboard. Firefox tabs have really spoiled me and I almost don’t know how to browse the web without tabs. The keyboard (I think) is ABC order not QWERTY which is laaaaame. I mean come on.

I think I may actually use the browser on a regular basis. It is so convenient and easy to use. Plus, LBH, I am either watching netflix or playing the Wii and the browser is right there in front of me. I also might just leave my Wii on all the time, does anyone think that this could be a problem?

I’ll check back in a couple of weeks to see if I am actually using the Wii browser, or if it is more of a novelty.

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Wii: Forecast channel impressions

by: Ross

I woke up this morning greeted by the pulsating blue glow of my Wii telling me that I had a message. Turns out it wasn’t midas sending me another Civil War general Mii, but it was Nintendo letting me know that the Forecast Channel was available for download!

I’ve only had about five minutes to play with it — since it took twenty to download. Aside: is everyone else’s Wii exceedingly slow to connect to the i-net? Mainly the Wii Store? Seriously that thing takes for. ev. er.

Anyway, the Forecast Channel lets you pick your State/City and then gives you a pretty generic view of today’s weather. Other options include: tomorrow’s forecast, 5-day forecast, and UV index (wtf?).

The coolest part about the Forecast Channel is The Globe. The Globe gives you a weather map ON A GLOBE. You can zoom out, zoom in, and spin it around. I’m not really sure why you would need to check the weather in Moscow on a moments notice, but it is neat and fun.

Also, I thought downloads were supposed to happen automatically in the middle of the night with this crazy WiiConnect24 business?


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The ladies of RVABlogs

by: Ross

RVABlogs.com, in its infancy, was a dirty corner of the web filled with local political hacks pointing their grubby little fingers at each other. Today a cadre of lady bloggers regularly pound out some serious quality blogs.

Over the past year the site has doubled in popularity — which means more ladies AWWWW YEAH!!! Last we checked 35% of our readers think Prince is sexy are female. Not only are a lot of ladies reading RVABlogs, but a lot of ladies are blogging. Not only are they blogging, but they are some of the best bloggers in Richmond.

So here are some of the best lady bloggers in Richmond:

  • Valeree Lynn @ Made in Richmond. I mean I kind of have to open with this one because I am married to her. But LBH, she isn’t ranked the #5 overall blog for nothing.
  • Brandon @ Brandon Eats. Brandon. Confusing I know. But her blog might be the most consistently best written (unlike this sentence) blog on RVABlogs. Plus some of the stuff she makes in the kitchen blows my mind. One day I will make that potato tortilla.
  • Kristin @ Double Vision. She really has double vision due to some nasty eye problems (which lead to hilarity?). The stories about her dog are priceless.
  • Amy @ Modern Atelier. If you are into makeup and shit, this blog is for you. That isn’t really my scene but the blog is well written and informative (Wrinkle creams ineffective?!?). My wife talks about it all the time, and she loves stuff.
  • Sarah @ Sarah Says. Hilarious. I actually regularly LOL — like in real life — when I read her blog. EL-OH-EL FOLKS.
  • Chris @ Tales of a Post-Grad Nothing. If funny stories about plane-crashingly awkward human interactions are your thing this is your place. Her family might be insane. Like should be committed insane.
  • Susan @ Misanthropic Review. She writes excellent and pointed (or poignant?) movie reviews, totally worth reading. I do wish she would post more though. YOU ARE ON NOTICE SUSAN.


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