Survivorman would eat Bear Grylls’s liver
About a year ago America suddenly became interested in wilderness survival. It seems every learning-esque channel has its own survival show: I Shouldn’t be Alive, Survivorman, and Man vs. Wild. Both Survivorman (Les Stroud) and Man vs. Wild (Bear Grylls) journey into some foreboding wilderness and attempt to survive.
Let me just say this: don’t ever do anything Bear Grylls does. You will die, which is usually the opposite of surviving.
Everything that Grylls does is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Not only is he totally unnecessary but most things he attempts are irresponsibly dangerous. Examples:
- Running away from his campsite in the middle of the night. In the Rocky Mountains (with like cliffs and stuff). IN THE DARK!!
- Jumping in to a raging 40° river and “floating” down stream. FYI: He actually had a life preserver on under his sweater while in the river. Once he got to shore the preserver magically disappeared!
- Drinking water without boiling it from a jungle stream.
- Climbing up a waterfall. Seriously, like two feet to his right was the same cliff just not covered in water.
- Trying to catch a “wild” horse and ride it out of the wilderness.
- Climbing any one of several 20 – 30 foot trees to “get a better view of his surroundings.”
If you attempted any of these things in an actual survival situation you would probably die. Grylls doesn’t die because he has a camera crew with him at all times. If something went dreadfully wrong he has someone there to bail him out. Apparently if he got tired of sleeping in the jungle he also can just go stay in a hotel.
Do you know who is awesome? Survivorman. You won’t ever see Survivorman pull any of these ridiculous stunts — which is why some people find him boring. He won’t ever do any of these things because if he did HE WOULD DIE. He is out there by himself for seven days. If he climbs a tree and falls he dies, if he gets kicked in the head by a wild horse he dies, if he drinks bad water he dies. You get the point.
Survivorman > Bear Grylls. Fin.
you really don’t know about survivorman either. he could have whatever suplies and just not show them to you. he could even have a whole staff and not show you. it’s tv. and it’s entertainment. bear grylls is sooo much more entertaining than survivorman.
also, it’s kind of cool that he films it himself, except that he focuses like 1/3 of the show on demonstrating how he had to walk 80 miles, set up a camera, walk back 80 miles to retrieve the camera, then walk the 80 miles again. talk about bad survival ideas? and i’d rather watch bear grylls kill a rabit with an ancient throwing stick, than see how survivorman wastes time making a stick hat to hold his headcam. snore.
remember celebrity boxing? they should put those 2 in the ring! my money’s on bear! bear vs. les? i mean, come on.
— Wolf | @
is bear allowed to bring in his camera crew to help him fight?
— midas | @
yes, and horses on trailers, and he can use the hotel concierge to call for additional help as well.
— Wolf | @
in that case i think youre right, he might be able to pull it off.
— midas | @
I must agree that survivorman is a bit of a snooze and focuses too much on the camera - having a cameraman makes a huge difference in the quality of the filming - I am completely impressed that the cameraman goes up the tree, too. And don’t try to climb a narrow canyon by wedging yourself in it and going up 60-ft: you will die!
— LD | @
omg what are you talking about,survivorman i just a little pussy who can’t do all those things.man he can’t even make a fire to save his life. what happen to that one match thing?? oh yeah,and he gets a shitload of things that could help him,what a cheater,bear grylls uses his surroundings/nature.
MAN VS.WILD > SURVIRORMAN
— booby joleston | @
wow joey i didnt know you were the leading expert on survival in the wild i’m impressed
— stuey | @
as a follow-up…..
i guess discovery is distancing itself from bear gryllz, bc they only show survivor-man now. in conclusion: discovery channel lacks the balls that any real survivor would need- search out balls inspiration elsewhere.
due to my impossible-to-quench thirst for survival knowledge, i’ve been sitting through survivor-man. ugh. further annoyance at this show…..
*somebody said it, but how is it really survival when you get everything you could ever need from the start?? “oh, here’s a beached boat with a full survival and dive kit, how convenient… oh, here’s a full rack of ribs i was going to feed my sled dogs, but i’ll grill up myself with this bbq sauce i just found in my backpack.”
*”my name is les and i have a harmonica and i play the same damn song in every episode!” if only some sort of large cat was attracted to that one lame-ass song that has no place in a real survival show.
*”it’s sooooo humid where i am that my camera crap doesn’t work.” boooooriiinnng. every commercial during the show is for the new futuristic iphone and you’re going into a f’n rain forest and you can’t take a moisture-resistant camera?!?
i hope someone does something soon to give me survival awesomeness to enjoy or i’m going to cry myself to death in my cushy living room.
p.s. coincidentally, as i sit here on my couch on my laptop in front of the tv, bastard discovery is running a commercial for a bear grrriyllz marathon on monday, so good for them! maybe it will be all edited to show how he cheats death with plush hotel room service.
— Wolf | @
You guys don’t realize that both shows will decieve you. Face it, it is entertainment, and regular survival is not entertaining to most viewers. I have noticed that everything Les tries ends in complete and utter failure, I feel anyone that has watched his show and has any sort of survival or outdoor experience at all, could do what he does. On the other hand, Bear always seems to conveniently find everything he needs, hence the new investigation into the acccusations against him. I feel that Bear, although foolish, is much more entertaining because he doesn’t just sit in camp for a week with all the supplies he needs being proivded. If you guys really want to learn something about survival then read a book, do some research, get out and practice it yourselves. Don’t complain that these shows meant for entertainment are not perfect.
— Pyro | @
I agree with Pyro, these are shows based on consumers rather than realism, and who can blame Discovery for that? What, is it a crime to try to make your network actually make money these days? If you actually believe that one or both of these shows is lacking, then you really don’t get it. The network wants MONEY! And how do they get it you ask? BEAR GRYLLS!
Be as lame as you want, complain all you want, but that’s the truth, and that’s all the network needs to know, and that’s why Bear Grylls will keep returning on the Discovery Channel. I may not like it, you may not like it, but the general public likes it, and that’s enough for a major network such as Discovery.
Lastly, i want to put a positive spin on the negativity Bear Grylls has received on the net lately. I find it unbearingly difficult to see teens make fun of him because of the show he makes, even though he has served with the SAS and climbed Mt. Everest. I get offended as a person with military background, because these teens REALLY do not know what it means to serve with a group like the SAS.
I am not going to brag and say i’ve been with the SAS, since i am not british, but i’ve served my country in a very, very, very similar way; and i would like nothing more than to see just ONE of these youngsters try that!
— Nero | @
just to be clear, in my first comment (the first comment) i said:
“it’s tv. and it’s entertainment. bear grylls is sooo much more entertaining than survivorman.”
that’s all.
— Wolf | @
Ross u are the stupidiest person ever. Bear does not do this stuff to survive he does it to teach us what to do in the same situation. If there was not other way to get up this cliff but use the waterfall then now i know how to get up useing a waterfall.
— dustan | @