Now, I don’t normally type headers in all-caps. The woman I’m married to can’t stand it. But if ever a time came when an all-caps title was needed … that time was now (WTF tenses).

Seriously, Slaughterama Four. Saturday March 31 on Belle Isle.

Slaughterama is the sweetest darn bike festival on the eastern seaboard — held right here in our town. And by bike festival I mean drunken explosion of cranks and chains. Words don’t really do it justice you really need to check out the pictures.

More details to come but this far the events include:

• Six pak attak
• Four way whiplash (this is seriously awesome / someone might die)
• Chicken fight races
• Chariot races
• Best in show
• World’s smallest messenger race

If you miss it, you’ll feel like the biggest toolbox. Come to watch, bring a beer, get arrested for drunk in public!