I love Netflix and I talk about it a lot — because let’s face it, I love love love it. Sometimes I’ll hear about people who have broken up with Netflix because their relationship had grown cold and loveless. They’d get home from work, eat their teevee dinners and never touch one another. This breaks my heart people, breaks it right in two. To prevent this I’d like to share a couple ways you can turn your Netflix relationship from sad to fab!
Send it back
The first rule of hearting Netflix: SEND IT BACK. If Weekend at Bernie’s II: Cruise Control has been sitting under that copy of Sailing Magazine for the last eight days you need to send it back. If, some day in the future when oil has peaked and a killer comet is headed straight for us, you want to watch Weekend at Bernie’s II again you can always put it back on your queue. Don’t let it stop your flow like a tampon.
Never have three* at home
If you have all three netflix at home at the same time you have failed — as a person. Obviously you didn’t read rule number one and Bio Dome has been sitting on top of your dvd player for three weeks. Or maybe you are lazy. Regardless, you want to stagger your netflix arrivals so ever couple days you get a new red envelope in the mail. You never want four day gaps in between red envelopes.
*Or however big your queue is.
Know your mail schedule and watch for weekends
To prevent having three at home you need to know your mail schedule. My mail(wo)man picks up the mail at 1pm everyday, so netflix need to be in the box before then. Simple.
Mail is analog as shit fyi. It actually stops on Sundays. Remember this as your plan your netflix staggering. You’ll want enough to get you through the weekend but have one going out on Friday so you can get a new one on Monday.
Switch up genres — including TV shows
Nothing is worse than watching six Naomi Watts horror movies in a row — except for maybe just, like, seeing Tara Reid six times. You’ve got to have a good mix of genres in your queue to keep things interesting. The next six movies in my queue have the following genres: horror, documentary, classics, comedy, foreign, drama. SNAP!
TV shows are tricky. You can’t possibly watch all episodes of ST:TOS (Star Trek: The Original Series) in a row. Believe me, I’ve tried and failed like Lt. Reginald Barclay. Try alternating between a TV show you are hot on and other movies. This will keep you into your stories but won’t let you get bored.
Netflix.com the best website … ever?
Finally, get acquainted with the Netflix Friend Page. It’s called the Netflix Friend Page not because it contains detailed information about your Netflix friends — which it does — but because this page is your friend. Why trust an evil soulless algorithm to recommend movies to you when you (presumably) have friends? Checking out your friend’s queues is the single best way of finding awesome movies to watch.
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