10 movie reviews in under 2,000 characters
by Ross Catrow
The Royal Tenenbaums
I’m late to the whole Wes Anderson thing, but better late than never right? I mean, who is your favorite in this movie? Everyone turns in a stellar performance.
*****
Delicatessen
Amelie director Jean-Pierre Jeunet shows us why you can’t ever trust French people. They may just eat you.
****
Borat
Should you laugh hysterically or leave the theatre? Are all white Americans bigots? Is it gross when two hairy naked guys wrestle and in the process expose their testicles?
****
Badlands
Martin Sheen was sooooo HAWT back in the day. Especially when he played a murderin’ James Dean.
****
Thank You for Smoking
While watching the History Channel the other day I learned that China has more smokers than America has Americans. It was Modern Marvels: Tobacco. More interesting than this movie I think.
***
Saw 2
Saw II: Cruise Control! Not as psychologically disturbing as the first one – although it was gooier. Note: that fat guy who looks like Mark Wahlberg is actually his brother Donnie.
***
The Shop Around the Corner
Is Tom Hanks a poor man’s Jimmy Stewart? I don’t know but this movie was silly. PS. You’ve Got Mail is the remake of this.
***
CSA: Confederate States of America
This was an entertaining concept and ok-ly executed. The faux-mercials are pretty good. I do wish people would understand the difference between the Confederate Battle Flag and the Stars and Bars.
**
Van Helsing
How can you screw up such an awesome concept as “vampires + werewolves + frankenstein?” Ask the wackjob that wrote this movie. I seriously thought this movie was over and then there was another hour.
**
Appleseed
Eh. Giant robots and boob physics are cool I guess.
**
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TRT – GREAT movie, probably Anderson’s best and one I really need to go buy.
S2 – I was so disappointed by the first one that I haven’t even bothered with the second and nearly cried when I heard there was a third. I will never get that time of my life back. Never.
VH – Poor, poor, poor mosters. I had such high hopes for this movie and then they butchered my dreams over and over again and then when I was down they had a face in the clouds stomp me in the groin. Good gravy, bad.
The rest I haven’t seen so no comments.
I’m an ignorant Yankee who wants to be enlightened. What is “the difference between the Confederate Battle Flag and the Stars and Bars”?
Everything you wanted to know and more.