Reasons not to move to Missouri
by Ross Catrow
- Show me what exactly?? Not much I bet. The state’s website purports that it is the “stalwart, conservative, noncredulous character of Missourians.” Laaaaame.
- Is Missouri in the Midwest, the South, or the North? It is west of the Mississippi right? Although one time I heard that Missouri loved slaves and the Union.
- I actually have a hard time believing that things exist in between the Mississippi and the Pacific Ocean, let alone whole entire states!
- The St. Louis Cardinal logo is so incredibly stupid. I will go to hell for this, but, its like Down’s Syndrome Cardinal. Seriously wtf am I talking about?
- It was pretty sweet when St. Louis had matching NFL and MLB team mascots. Oh well. NOT ANY MORE MISSOURI SUCKS TO BE YOU, YOU COULD HAVE MATT LEINART NOW.
- Presidents from Missouri: Harry S. Truman. He’s real popular in JAPAN I hear.
Ok seriously, Missouri? I mean who even cares?
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What? Nothing about one of their biggest cities named after the state next to them? That’s pretty lame.
And your welcome for #5. ;-)
7. they don’t even know how to pronounce their own name. what is missoura?? it ends in a freakin “i.”
8. More pornography related roadside billboards than anywhere else I’ve seen!
Oh so true, I heard one of those Michael J. Fox ads and he was like “you need to vote how I say Missoura.” And I was like, where is that? Probably in Canada, next to Manitoba.