Reasons not to move to New Jersey

by Ross Catrow

  1. The entire state of New Jersey is a suburb to a city in another state.
  2. One time I flew over a “river” in New Jersey. Its banks were lined with the rotting hulls of abandoned boats. And probably dead bodies.
  3. People in NJ don’t live in towns or cities. They live off of exit numbers.
  4. For a state that invented college football they sure have some crappy college football team(s).
  5. New Jersey is, by in large, populated with people from New Jersey.