Reasons not to move to Delaware

by Ross Catrow

  1. We’re in … Delaware. When Wayne’s World came out (I’ve never seen Wayne’s World btw) I lived in Delaware. My friends thought that the producers of WW made a different version of the movie for each state: “We’re in … Michigan,” “We’re in … Texas”, etc. They didn’t realize that Delaware is a trash hole.
  2. Delaware’s nickname: The First State. They are clever up there.
  3. Don’t trust a state you can’t label clearly without sticking the name out in the Atlantic Ocean.
  4. It’s not even the smallest state.
  5. The Eastern Shore could kick Delaware’s ass.
  6. Delaware was a slave state that remained in the Union. A hotbed of hypocrisy and slavery if you ask me. Because that is what the Civil War was about, slavery, duh.
  7. Delaware contains 20% of the tolls on I-95 but only 1% of the miles.
  8. Sales tax is not a reason to relocate.