Haduken.com Editorial Policy Changes
by midas
This shall serve as formal notification to all members with posting privileges on the Haduken.com Front Page (hereafter: “Front Page”). Due to a recent bevy of offensive, opinionated articles posted by some of our members, all future articles must meet the following criteria:
- All articles must give equal time* to two (2) sides of the issue, no more, no less
- If an issue has more than or less than two (2) sides, the author must fabricate another side, or ignore or deny the existence or validity of any extraneous ones
- The issue or subject of an article must be the subject of a current CNN, MSNBC or FOXNews article or story
- All articles must link to Wikipedia at least once (1ce) as an authoritative source
- All articles must have been previously published in an approved, peer-reviewed journal**
- No articles may contain pictures, since pictures can be open to interpretation by the reader, who may interpret them in an unbalanced or incorrect manner
- Most importantly, personal opinion must be kept absolutely silent at all times
Some examples of offending articles:
- An article about your favorite food, unless it is everyone else’s favorite food as well
- A movie review where you express an opinion on the quality or enjoyability of the movie in question
- An article about your vacation, unless your vacation inspired a scholarly article about the place you visited, and then you post the scholarly article instead
- An article about a political issue where you advocate a certain position, or reference an external article that advocates a certain position
All articles that fail to meet all of these criteria will be removed without notice, or stripped of all offending content, depending on the (admittedly) transient whims of the editors. Remember, Haduken.com is an authoritative news and discussion site, not a personal or community blogging site, so it is important to be absolutely professional at all times.
Thank you for helping us make Haduken.com the one-stop shop on the web for laughs, friends, and – most importantly – fair, balanced, and sober analysis and commentary.
Signed,
The Haduken.com Satire Department
* – “Equal Time” shall be defined as no more than 5 words difference, or 20 letters, whichever is smaller
** – A list of approved journals is available upon request
pretentious bastard. i see how it is.
of course i meant ‘pretentious bastard’ in the kindest way possible…
haha i’m just teasing you guys. :)
matt the bastard -> matt the pretentious bastard?
nothing but love.
You have to watch out for that one, he is dangerous. Just don’t ever play Golden Eye with him.
or smash brothers
Dude, do you remember that time he beat Master Blaster? It was INsane. The final boss shoots out like 3 million little peas and Midas went off into this zone and was dodging left and right. It was the craziest thing I have ever seen.
that was the best day of my life. if i had played a little longer, i might have been raptured into heaven right there because my work here would have been done.
Its sad for you that you missed your chance. (warning bible humor to follow) I would have enjoyed watching Elijah come pick you up in his hot ride.
Ha! Hot ride!
at least someone got my pun
It’s just as I have been saying all along…
Haduken.com needs more fair and balanced academic writings, and less haduk-a-boobs.
What?! What!?
Hadukaboobs are the best things that ever happened to this website since Al Gore.
I know!
But where did they go?!
In the good old days, haduken.com was the hadukaboob capital of the ENTIRE INTERNET!
RIP Hadukaboobs!