Haduken

Hey I’m Tom Cruise and I am a cry baby

by: Ross

Via Scott:

Scientology’s “Top Gun” Tom Cruise succeeded after his fellow Hubbardite Isaac Hayes had failed to persuade anyone, especially South Park co-creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, to pull the show.

Unlike Hayes Cruise went to the top at Viacom, which owns Comedy Central the cable network that carries South Park, warning that if he didn’t get his way he would reportedly “boycott the promotion for Mission Impossible III. Source.

Waaahhhh Waaaaahhh I’m Tom Cruise, don’t make fun of my wacky religion it will make me cry. Waaaahh.

But you do have to admit, Matt Lauer doesn’t doesn’t know the whole history of psychiatry.

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  1. lol… I just watched the episode… funny stuff.

    I could see why Tom would be mad though… it was as much about Tom coming out of the closet as it was about scientology…

    Daniel

  2. are we allowed to be talking about this? doesn’t freedom of speech come with the responsibility not to use it?

    midas

  3. after a stunt like this, paramount/all viacom companies should ban tom cruise from anything they are working on. other companies should also be wary that he may take them hostage over some cartoon or anything he feels like. i think this might really hurt tom cruise in the long run.

    — Wolf

  4. I mean, I feel like studios have been comparing how crazy Tom Cruise is with how much money he can make them for years now. I feel like Viacom has a team of psychologists and financial analysts creating detailed statistical models around the clock.

    — RMSzero

  5. seems like they should all be fired then.
    does tom cruise still make good movies?
    i wish he’d make a scientology documentary.

    — Wolf

  6. The closest thing you’re ever going to get to a scientology documentary is that episode of South Park.

    — RMSzero

  7. haha. and apparently i can’t even watch that!

    — Wolf

  8. In the past 5 years here are the movies that I have seen, that he has been in, and I think of as good movies Collateral (2004), The Last Samurai (2003), Minority Report (2002), Vanilla Sky (2001)

    — nic

  9. MaxPower, you’re GLIB!

    This is too bad… South Park is like the best show. Does Cruise think he can stop reruns forever?

    — Coulie

  10. Guys, guys. Don’t worry. As brought up by MaxPower a few threads ago, not even Tom Cruise can stop The Internet

    — RMSzero

  11. nic, i think you and i have different movie taste. or maybe we define “good” differently. i know i did not see any of those in the theater and probably will never own any of them.

    really, i’m not saying he isn’t a good actor, but i’m surprised people still find his acting worth the headaches. i mean, the guy’s a fruitcake (i love “fruitcake” as an insult).

    — Wolf

  12. the internet is Amazing.

    — Wolf

  13. It doesn’t matter if Tom Cruise is good or not. He just gets people to buy movie tickets. That’s why he’s always been so highly paid.

    — RMSzero

  14. yeah, but i’m wondering if he’s starting to turn people off by jumping on couches and whatnot? or maybe that helps publicity? i know he decreases the odds that i’ll see a movie.

    — Wolf

  15. I enjoyed Collateral, The Last Samurai, and War of the Worlds. He was actually really good in The Last Samurai I thought.

    But yeah he is definitely a liability to studios I think, I mean he is like the Terrel Owens of movies. ANd people aren’t down with that kind of stuff (he’s at Dallas now btw).

    MaxPower

  16. he is like T.O. good call. or dennis rodman.

    — Wolf

  17. maura took all the tom cruise movies off of our netflix queue cuz of his craziness. so i havent seen any of those movies. the last movie i saw him in… maybe mi:2? unless i saw top gun on tv or something since then.

    did everyone see that south park has officially declared war on scientology? http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/03/20/south_park_repeat/

    “So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies.

    “Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!”

    HAIL XENU!

    midas

  18. Hahah that is amazing. Those guys are hilarious because they are TRUE.

    MaxPower

  19. Yeah, I am boycotting Tom Cruise - I’ve been doing it ever since he killed Oprah. (I think War of the Worlds might still be in our queue though - but that is just because I can’t get enough of that precocious little Dakota Fanning.) I hope that before I die I see Tom Cruise get his comeuppance.

    i heart dorks

  20. i heart dorks. i’m glad to see that you still exist. for a while i was losing all hope.

    — Wolf

  21. I like how this thread has almost as many comments as the thread on executing someone based on their religious beliefs.

    Btw. Scientology sux!!!

    MaxPower

  22. Tom Cruise Crazy Birth Control!!!

    Tom Cruise’s pregnant fiancée Katie Holmes will be reminded to keep her vow of silence during birth — by signs plastered around their home.

    One reads: “Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable.”

    Followers believe it is traumatic for babies to hear their mother scream or groan when giving birth. They think it can cause “psychic” damage, which takes years of therapy to overcome.

    — Wolf

  23. how awesome would it be to be there and scream soooo loud. tom would be like “you’re a jerk.”

    Tom’s worried about birth noise causing the baby to have psychological problems?! hello, Tom, YOU are the babies father- it’s obviously going to have psychological problems.

    — Wolf

  24. what if Tom Cruise is right about everything???

    — Coulie

  25. hahaha true - what if, to him, we are all raving lunatics?

    someone make a tshirt!

    midas

  26. Boy Tom has sure turned a little wierd lately. I miss the old Tom!

    mr skin

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