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Nick at Nite Records’ compilation album “I Am Woman” is a great record which will take you on a walk down memory lane while simultaneously bringing out your inner Goddess and making you want to get up and dance with your fellow.

Back in the 90′s, when Nick at Nite was still playing songs from other, older people’s childhoods, Nick at Nite Records released a series of themed compilation albums: “Donna Reed’s Dinner Party,” “Dick van Dyke’s Dance Party,” “Stand By Your Man,” “Fonzie’s Makeout Music,” and, last but not least, “I Am Woman.” I own all of these albums, and let me just say, they are worth every penny (they were all gifts)!

“I Am Woman” stands out, because it is the only album dedicated to how awesome womyn are. The album kicks it off with the old classic, “I Am Woman,” continues with some more hits, then tosses up “I’m A Woman,” followed by “I’m Every Woman.” While none of these songs are about womyn per se, it is clear that the women involved were very proud to be women, to the point where they could not think of anything else to sing about. And that’s fine by me. Sisters!

Another song, “Man Smart, Woman Smarter,” just repeats the line “That’s right, women are smarter” over and over again for 3 minutes. While the song offers no evidence of the mental superiority of women as far as writing lyrics goes, it is clear that the woman is so smart, that she does not feel the need to prove it by coming up with song lyrics, or, for that matter, song titles that don’t sound like a cavewoman wrote them.

The album cover features a wonderful scene of a dozen or so cartoon women smirking and smiling at the camera while adopting various poses, all of which seem to say, “you want to be my boyfriend? Boy I’m looking for a Man (or a suitably empowered lesbian partner).” None of the women here have noses, for an unexplained reason.

Instead of boring liner notes with pictures or lyrics, Nick at Nite included a quiz which will tell you, “Are You A Modern Woman?” The quiz only has 4 questions, which probably means that it was written by a woman doctor who was so smart that she could figure out the answer with only these questions. A man would probably take 6, 7, or even 9 questions to find out if he is a modern man or not.

The questions are all of the form: “If [male authority figure] did [something blatantly chauvenistic], would you… (a) take it, (b) cry, or (c) make a futile, completely unecessary, and overly dramatic scene?” The correct answer to every question is C. This quiz was a great addition, because it caters to women’s inherent love of taking quizes which tell them things about themselves (as evidenced by the success of Cosmo magazine), and because it does a great job of reaffirming our Goddesshood by being easy to pass and by giving us great ideas for things to do at the workplace to reinforce negative stereotypes about us.

Even an album as great as this has some flaws. There could have been more songs about how the singer is a woman, for one, but that’s obvious. As mentioned above, it would have been nice if the women on the cover had been given noses. Lastly, the song “I’ll Take You There” seems to be about a woman pleasing her man, which sounds like something that belongs on “Stand By Your Man,” which is geared more toward submissive houswives and not Us Sisters. I know I already said lastly, but there should also have been at least one or two Ashlee Simpson songs on there.

Overall, this is a great album, and every empowered woman should own several copies of it. On those rainy days, when you are sitting alone, staring out the window, and wondering whether you should get a new cat, or whether having 12 cats instead of 11 will mean you are officially a crazy cat lady, you can pull it out and really rock out with Paws, Smuckers, Professor Tiddlywinks, Tom (you tell people he is named “Tomcat,” but he is really named “Tom Cruise”), and the rest of the gang. I give it 2 thumbs up!

Nick at Nite Records’ compilation album “I Am Woman” is a great record which will take you on a walk down memory lane while simultaneously bringing out your inner Goddess and making you want to get up and dance with your fellow.

Back in the 90′s, when Nick at Nite was still playing songs from other, older people’s childhoods, Nick at Nite Records released a series of themed compilation albums: “Donna Reed’s Dinner Party,” “Dick van Dyke’s Dance Party,” “Stand By Your Man,” “Fonzie’s Makeout Music,” and, last but not least, “I Am Woman.” I own all of these albums, and let me just say, they are worth every penny (they were all gifts)!

“I Am Woman” stands out, because it is the only album dedicated to how awesome womyn are. The album kicks it off with the old classic, “I Am Woman,” continues with some more hits, then tosses up “I’m A Woman,” followed by “I’m Every Woman.” While none of these songs are about womyn per se, it is clear that the women involved were very proud to be women, to the point where they could not think of anything else to sing about. And that’s fine by me. Sisters!

Another song, “Man Smart, Woman Smarter,” just repeats the line “That’s right, women are smarter” over and over again for 3 minutes. While the song offers no evidence of the mental superiority of women as far as writing lyrics goes, it is clear that the woman is so smart, that she does not feel the need to prove it by coming up with song lyrics, or, for that matter, song titles that don’t sound like a cavewoman wrote them.

The album cover features a wonderful scene of a dozen or so cartoon women smirking and smiling at the camera while adopting various poses, all of which seem to say, “you want to be my boyfriend? Boy I’m looking for a Man (or a suitably empowered lesbian partner).” None of the women here have noses, for an unexplained reason.

Instead of boring liner notes with pictures or lyrics, Nick at Nite included a quiz which will tell you, “Are You A Modern Woman?” The quiz only has 4 questions, which probably means that it was written by a woman doctor who was so smart that she could figure out the answer with only these questions. A man would probably take 6, 7, or even 9 questions to find out if he is a modern man or not.

The questions are all of the form: “If did , would you… (a) take it, (b) cry, or (c) make a futile, completely unecessary, and overly dramatic scene?” The correct answer to every question is C. This quiz was a great addition, because it caters to women’s inherent love of taking quizes which tell them things about themselves (as evidenced by the success of Cosmo magazine), and because it does a great job of reaffirming our Goddesshood by being easy to pass and by giving us great ideas for things to do at the workplace to reinforce negative stereotypes.

Even an album as great as this has some flaws. There could have been more songs about how the singer is a woman, for one, but that’s obvious. As mentioned above, it would have been nice if the women on the cover had been given noses. Lastly, the song “I’ll Take You There” seems to be about a woman pleasing her man, which sounds like something that belongs on “Stand By Your Man,” which is geared more toward submissive houswives and not Us Sisters. I know I already said lastly, but there should also have been at least one or two Ashlee Simpson songs on there.

Overall, this is a great album, and every empowered woman should own several copies of it. On those rainy days, when you are sitting alone, staring out the window, and wondering whether you should get a new cat, or whether having 12 cats instead of 11 will mean you are officially a crazy cat lady, you can pull it out and really rock out with Paws, Smuckers, Professor Tiddlywinks, and Tom (you tell people he is named “Tomcat,” but he is really named “Tom Cruise”), and the rest of the gang. I give it 2 thumbs up!