A Moveable Drink
by vanimal3000
In this long-awaited episode, Van travels into the heart of the Deep South, arriving in Savannah, Georgia, where he ruminates in what might be described as an ethereal manner on the town. From what I’ve been able to gather, there was a lot of drinking going on down there (which is perhaps continuing to this moment), so if you find him waxing poetic, well, I’m sure you’ll forgive him. It’s hard to resist the charms of a Southern belle in her home territory. Home field advantage and all that.
cheers,
-midas
For those lucky enough to visit Savannah on their spring break, it will always remain with them, no matter where they go, for Savannah is a moveable drink. The South is known for friendly greetings. This is only heightened, I’ve found, with a plastic Dixie cup of rum and coke while strolling down the boulevard.
The town has 21 surviving green squares and the general rule is if there is a block of grass and more than one year has passed, surely something has happened, and surely someone from Savannah has contributed. Add hedgerows, a monument, a dash of park benches and a sturdy copper plaque, and it has been another successful legislative season for city council.
However, more happens at midnight than just time. While in most places, the days events drift off in darkness, here the floating memory clings to the Spanish moss and the town wakes up to find the atmosphere batting the memories back down, never fully released. As a result, the town is cocooned in reflection, with ghosts that haunt the soul if a memory tries a repeated nighttime escape. The city cemetery has an iron wall corralling in the unsuspecting corpse when floods force up the old pine boxes from the sandy dirt. Even Noah’s flood couldn’t free the living from the remnants of the dead here.
Perhaps it’s to drown the memory or the constant reminder of impending mortality which explains how in the midst of the Bible belt, a notch is added for the copious amounts of alcohol consumed on a weekly basis in this port town. While in the day the angels and seersucker traditions thrust a stately aura to the pot bellied tourist, the devil and lacey cleavage push up the pine box of rebellion that civility hushes quiet during business hours. Pints are served in trendy bars while women search amidst the dwindling crowds of men—perhaps a future name in copper has a beer tab open tonight. The trees blow these warnings for all who may hear, but the city’s charms abound and after another bar and another stroll with a red Dixie cup, all of this is forgotten and the reason for the added notch becomes clear.
Despite the past, the future is stronger. And I’m wide awake; it’s morning. “Where are we going?,� I ask. “To Thunderbolt, for lunch with Dusti,� she says. We drive up to a restaurant with a large front porch and rocking chairs. The food is battered and the tea is sweet. Her voice is gentle, but direct. “Yeah the town won’t give up its independence, despite being surrounded by Savannah, it’s only a dozen blocks or so. See across the street, there’s the sound, and then the ocean,� she looks off, but doesn’t see it. We do find a shrimp boat, “Hey, look, it’s named Captain Van!� I hop out and take a picture. She seems impressed.
We drive off with a tune from High Fidelity. I glance back. The ship is pointed towards the sea, and the wind swoops in to remind of its vastness. The town of Thunderbolt does not have much shade, thus the mood is lighter. The only monument is to the sailor. High tide is coming in. And Captain Van seems to understand. Soon, he will have to return.
The difference in quality between this post and the Terri Chiavo Blog is utterly astounding. I’ll leave it as an exersize for the reader to figure out which one is better.
what terri schiavo blog?
-midas
*My very first Haduken post* Midas, if you will kindly post Van’s resume I will forward it on to the Savannah Tourism Department with the above writing sample so that I can have a job for this dear boy when he drops out of law school. Oh, I’m sorry Van, was that a secret? My bad. Just to clarify, everyone is not drunk ALL the time in Savannah. You will all be happy to know that yet another square will be created this year. If you need to read more about Savannah, I would highly recommend reading Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, which is a surprisingly accurate account of the shady town. Better yet, everyone come see me!
Terri Chiavo Blog
That is awful. Ass.
Not you, Van…quite lyrical, as always.
I want to go to savannah now.
lets give a hand for stephanie, her first post.
if you can figure the “board” out stephanie, you’re smarter than me, its a technological leviathan.
i think we should be able to hook rmszero with “a savannah” as I like to call them.
~V~
Hi, it’s Laura, Stephanie’s weepy friend that share a slice of pizza with you and your lady while you were in town. Stephanie passed on the link. I think you captured Savannah fairly well. Careful though, this town sucks you in. I was once a big city Chicago girl with a harsh accent, a love of iced tea and a belief that the South was filled with rednecks and Republicans (no offense).
Now the accent has softened (some), “y’all” is a daily part of my vocabularly, sweet tea is a vice had only when the diet allows and I have learned that while the South is full of rednecks and Republicans, it also is filled with a beauty and grace found nowhere else in this country.
Come back soon, but be careful as you may never leave.
Oh, and I am no longer weepy. In fact, life is good.
nobody quite does an intro like mad chill–v
[this post was made to frustrate valerie, apparently she hates me saying, "mad chill matt".]
can you believe that mad chill?
I mean, I’d like to be hooked up with a city.
Particularly a city where people drink sweet tea.
Richmond could kick Savannah’s ass. Thats all I’m gonna say about that.
Oh also, welcome Laura.
mad chill cannot believe that.
i remember the 1st time i said “yall.”
keep chillin’,
-mad chill matt
Hi new people! Come to Richmond!
Personally I think Maui is filled will a TON of beauty and grace, but they don’t drink sweet tea.
RMSzero.
do not begin to compare savannah with maui! i say good sir, the only good import from maui is the plastic hula girl duct taped to the dash of a winnebago.
Laura.
hi! greetings, i don’t recall any weepy aspect, but what i do recall is your interesting adventure with the nuns on that island that left you sun burned.
welcome to haduken. i hear you on the magnetic nature of the place.
Max.
richmond is the holy city, no doubt, but pilgrims must retreat from mecca occassionally and they would be hard pressed to find a better refuge than savannah.
mad chill.
Dave, my brother, drunk, october 1999, in dupont hall, “Van you’re roommate is so chill dude. you are mad chill, matt. mad chill.”
Um, I kind of hate that nickname, too.
I mean, I’m just saying.
I don’t kind of hate that nickname. I totally and completely hate that nickname. We had him first, so we decide which nicknames stick. And THAT one has been VETOED.
Yeah, that nickname isn’t working for me either.
rmszero, whose side are you on?!
geez. don’t be a “girl”.
ladies! shh. don’t upset mad chill.
if you’d like to leave posts RE: mad chill…please spell them out with a dash between e-a-c-h letter, so mad chill matt won’t understand we’re talking about him.
~v~
I love that I told Van that Valerie hates that nickname. Yay conflict. Van, you are the biggest girl I know. And speaking of hated nicknames, maybe you shouldn’t refer to girls as if their name was the same as their local.
don’t worry, you can’t upset mad chill matt. that’s why they call him mad chill matt.
yours,
-mad chill matt
Mad Chill Matt is a legend that cannot and must not be questioned. it is not something to be decided upon, he simply is. can the bird say to its mother, “I want to swim and not fly!”?? Can the heart say to the brain, “i want to think and not beat”? Nor can Matt, or anyone else, deny his destiny as a bastion of chillitude. We should not dispute the legitimacy or acceptance of said nickname, rather celebrate it as an accurate depiction of a man just living his life the way it was meant to be lived.
wtf is going on in this thread?
But “mad chill” is a stupid name – I feel like it is the sort of phrase a youth pastor would use. And then I would laugh at him.
Dave, my brother, you’re the man.
Just as Mad Chill is the Matt.
(i didn’t think vegetarians went to church)
Van, I am making such a horrible face at you right now. If you were my student, your desk would most definitely be in the hallway.
I mean you don’t go to church though, he’s got you there.
ok. see stephanie, this is why valerie scares me, b/c at this very moment, I QUAKE in fear.
Alright. The line has been drawn, I think we all know where everyone stands.
A peace most certainly will be brokered. But of course like all wars in the south, we will debate its origin, who truly won, and call the battles different names.
The Battle for Mad Chill Heights is officially over.
I revert to my workings before the grand fight, of writing posts on the doings of me and my fair very much like, stephanie.
Retreating to Savannah and Contracts class outlining~Van
PS–appreciate your shots fired ross, dave, and matt, a gallant campaign.
no quarter for traitors…rmszero
Um, excuse me, you don’t know me. I went to church this weekend.
The legacy of Mad Chill is known in the rolling hills of Charlottesville. While strolling through the land of popped collars and rainbow sandals I have come to know as UVA, my only inspiration to continue life’s journey is to lift my heavy, adderal-induced, glazed eyes to the heavens, and think of the things on this world that are pure and holy. You see, Mad Chill isn’t just a nickname, it’s the very fiber of purity that binds every man and women together. When I first met Mad Chill, the chillness simply radiated from his being. His nickname, although bestowed by a drunk through vomit-sparkled breath, was the essence of innocence. It is the very nature of man to aspire a nickname as Mad Chill, yet like reverse psychology on a twelve-year-old, Matt was naively exceptant of a nickname he never knew would stick for the rest of his life. Please, if not for the sake of peace among the readers of Haduken, submitt to the nickname of Mad Chill, so that at least our children, and our children’s children, will one day stand up during Show-and-Tell, and present on CVS trifold, “The Day Mad Chill was ALMOST Forgotten.”
Respectfully,
Mike “Van’s other Little Bro” Smith
I don’t know what happened in this thread either. For a while we were talking about sweet tea.
i want this engraved on my tombstone.
yours,
-madchillmatt
sometimes in fighting wars, its best to have a large family.
I believe this thread has produced many items today. One that my entire family is poetically gifted blowhards, born to be paid by the hour and word. Second, that maura in fact attends church (though no sign of denomination, I assume utilitarian unitarian church of the cabbage, I am clearly kidding here…or am I?). Third, that given a chance, women are formidable opponents on the field of battle. Eighth, an identity was discovered, mad chill, go forth and seize your destiny. Fifth, Ross and I both will be in trouble, though good thing mine is a 520 mile slap away. Sixth, Savannah is a must-experience town of the first order. Ninth, I will do anything to avoid studying contracts, including starting wars.
And finally with the right muse all of us can become men.
Here’s to the savannahs in all of our lives, V
savannah: a woman of style and grace that prefers her tea sweet and her winters mild.
What are guys of style and grace called? Vans?
No those are shoes,
they’re called southern gentlemen
~V
All of you Smith brothers are just a whole bunch of talk. All I hear is “blah blah blah.”
Van,
I must say I enjoyed your post. Especially b/c I’m mentioned! Ready for you to come visit again, so that we can continue to expand your knowledge of Savannah. Sweet tea, is indeed a staple for many of us down this way. I can’t recall a time without it!
I’ll have a red solo cup of rum and coke waiting for your next visit!
Dusti
i’ll just go ahead and say it. i don’t particularly like sweet tea.
-midas
Dusti!
Ignore Midas, he’s been in Fredericksburg so long, and as you know its been “invaded” by “DeeCee” people.
So good to hear from you~ I appreciate the read, and hope it went well with all the gent callers last night at kickball. Keep the drink chilled, and see you soon~
Van
fag.
Midas, you are dead to me.
“And on the eighth day, God made sweet tea”
Val – remember that song?
you booj-waszie richmonders don’t know anything. while you guys were going to plays and talking about how do you do and tipping hats and drinking sweet tea, fredericksburg was on the front lines, fighting for YOUR freedom from the cursed yankees. the site of lee’s greatest triumph, fredericksburg was a glorious battleground, while the only reason lee even stopped in richmond was because the yanks stole all his other houses.
go back to new york city you scallawags!
-midas
Im just happy to see Matt’s fighting side. Oh, Stephanie, you know how I very much like me some fightin. mm mm mm.
Man, if anybody reads this site from the i-net they’re going to think we’re a bunch of red necks. perhaps we are. im going to wal mart, who needs duct tape?
piss on your eye wyatt, and by wyatt, i mean mad chill. it seems fair fxburg has gone soft in its tender condition so close to the tipping point of good and evil. I can hear the waitress at the Waffle House up there now…no we don’t have sweet tea, but here’s some sweet and low, you can add it to the…..abomination! (i can’t cuss anymore b/c stephanie won’t let me)
you know van, in all my years of knowing you, i would have never considered you even remotely southern. not too many southern men i know would belt out backstreet boy tunes willingly. : P
Knowing modern poetry is a southern gent’s stock and trade,
back to the studies, v