Chuck Eberle Is Not A Yankee
by midas
The South rises again as midas and iheartdorks embark on an epic adventure to one of Fredericksburg’s many Confederate cemeteries. Here they meet the famed general Robert E. Lee, or, at least, some Yankee who looks vaguely like him, are impressed by the constume designer for the Civil War reenactors’ fake army, and are altogether creeped out above and beyond what they expected.
As an added bonus, the two intrepid explorers remember to bring their (midas’) camera. Enjoy!
Recently was the 142nd or so anniversary of the Battle of Fredericksburg. This is a huge deal here in Fredericksburg, as it is the town’s main claim to fame, and because it reminds us Southerners of the time that Lee gave a good trouncing to those carpetbagging Yankees. The festivities this year were marked with a weekend’s worth of celebrations and guided tours, and while Marua and I managed to sleep through the first two day’s worth, we took it upon ourselves to attend the closing ceremonies at the Confederate Cemetary, a few blocks down from my apartment.
We were promised some speeches, the presentation of colours, and a visit by none other than famed R.E. Lee impersonator, Chuck Eberle! …No, we hadn’t heard of him either. Some research revealed that Chuck, a distant relative of Lee, quickly rose up the ranks of the fake army, as far as we can tell, soley on the basis of his beard’s resembalence to Lee’s. Upon meeting him, this lonesome qualification would become even more apparent – some might say: “glaring.”
There was a small crowd at the cemetary, and a group of men and women dressed very impressively in period clothes. There was one man who, during the benediction, used the nearby tombstones as tripods for his camera. He had long hair, and he made Maura and I more comfortable to be there; at first we felt like we were giggling at a stranger’s funeral, but at least we weren’t resting our beer on the coffin.
When Chuck rose to speak, the excitement in the air was like a thunderstorm, or the coming of the overman. The theme of his speech was “The Confederate Flag Means Jesus,” and started with the words, “I am not a Yankee.” Coming from General Lee, this might seem obvious, but, as Maura would note as we made a hasty retreat halfway through the speech, “that sounded less like Lee talking, and more like Chuck talking.” Chuck, you see, is a native Ohioan, and apparently has some Civil War-related self-confidence problems.
It was certainly not the sort of speech you might expect from a man who said something like this:
My experience of men has neither disposed me to think worse of them, or indisposed me to serve them; nor in spite of failures, which I lament, of errors which I now see and acknowledge; or of the present aspect of affairs; do I despair of the future.
The truth is this: The march of Providence is so slow, and our desires so impatient; the work of progress is so immense and our means of aiding it so feeble; the life of humanity is so long, that of the individual so brief, that we often see only the ebb of the advancing wave and are thus discouraged. It is history that teaches us to hope.
While it was not the most entertaining ceremony that I’ve had the pleasure of attending, and despite the fact that Maura and I ran away in the middle of Chuck’s speech (somewhere during the part about how the flag has red in it for Jesus’s blood), it was certainly a cool experience, and one worth taking a look at if you get the chance, if for no other reason than to experience the subculture. These people were very passionate about what they were doing, and while the whole thing did seem to take on a defensive, “we’re not racists, we promise,” air, it was almost touching, in a way, seeing these grown men dressed up in costumes, celebrating the sacrifices of people they’ve never met, who fought for a country they never lived in, and, of course, sticking it to those dirty Yanks.
Here are some pictures.
I recall when I was involved in the reenacting subculture. I hasten to add that it was for the Revolutionary War. The second year of involvement, I was elected “Scout” of the fraternity. This was the representative for those in the group under 18. My chief job was to build the council fire and wake the 3 state camp each morning. On my first morning, I was so nervous. I set my timex watch (hidden of course from public view) and then forgot to change the setting back to normal time. My instructions were to wake the camp with a loud bugle blast at 7 am. I woke up at 5:30 and saw on my watch the time “7:00″ I ran outside in my boxers, freezing cold and stood on a hay bail taking in the encampment and hundreds of white canvas tents. I took the biggest breath of my life and blew. I blew and blew. The notes were perfect. The call was made, just an hour and a half too early. I received the nickname Rising Sun, and it stuck after that. ~Van~
Van, I feel like you are a made up character.
We didn’t realize that there was a bunch of stuff going on that weekend and we kept seeing reenactors passing in front of midas’ apt. We telling each other that we were seeing ghosts.
I love how in the guy in the back is looking at Chuck in the first picture, somebody doesn’t quite believe somebody else isn’t a Yankee.
Max just told us that the original confederate flag used pink fabric because red was the color of whore’s clothing – so if the red = Jesus’ blood and it was really pink does that make Jesus gay?
I enjoyed myself, it was rather disorganized and I felt like it had a lot more to do with reenacting than in what they were reenacting. I did find it kind of touching.
Photo credits belong to me.
No dude that isn’t what I said about the confederate battle flag. Which by the way is *not* called the stars and bars. What we think of as the “confederate flag” was actually the flag of the Army of Northern Virginia.
Anyway what I said was fabric stores in Richmond during the civil war didn’t cary a lot of red silk because it was a whore’s color. So they had to make flags with pink silk because everyone was requesting the flag of the Army of Northern Virginia (cause it is way cooler than the stars and bars) and materials were limited.
That is what I said.
yeah that’s the southern cross there in that picture if i’m not mistaken.
to hear chuck tell it though, the whole CSA was an elaborate conspiracy to celebrate christmas. i felt like i was watching national treasure starring nicolas cage. “see this 3rd star down from the right symbolizes you need to goto nashville, and in the elvis museum, look at the 3rd guitar next to the men’s bathroom. on the back, you will find a map, which leads to a treasure. along the way to finding the treasure, you will learn the true meaning of christmas, and isn’t that the real treasure?”
-midas
Actuall if you look in the very last photo, the flag all the way to the right is the “Confederate Flag” I think. With the southern cross on a white field. I think it was called “unstainable” or something like that. There is a site somewhere that had a whole history of the flag and it was really interesting. But I am too lazy to find it again, if only I had used del.icio.us.
Also congrats on your return to blogging.
Here, here, midas has been missed,
the law student